UK spy HQ. Notice the cunning use of bicycles to hide it and avoid any suspicion of it being the UK spy HQ.
According to the Guardian:
The UN secretary general, Ban Ki-moon, says he will launch an investigation into reports that Britain spied on other governments at two successive global climate summits, snooping on other delegations’ kit, passes and membership lists.
A government document released by Edward Snowden showed that an officer from GCHQ, the government’s eavesdropping agency, had been embedded in the official British delegation to the UN climate summit in Copenhagen in 2009 and at Cancun in Mexico.
This sounded serious. So I immediately downloaded the offending document. It’s in Danish, fortunately I am fluent in Danish (OK, I once had a conversation in Danish with a drunk in a Danish bar). And from this I have been able to learn the fool truth of this horrendous international spying ring.
A selction of the cyber clones used by UK spy agencies to infiltrate the talks.
It is now clear from my researches that GCHQ are genetically manipulating all kinds of deadly animals to create a new generations of cyberbots as shown to the right. Lizardbot is clearly the latest generation of guided weaponry. Ratbot is a automotous self-aware listening robot that likes grass. Meerkatbot is a disguised Ratbot – which just shows how cunning GCHQ. But the most dasterly cyberbot is the Anthropomorphicogenousbot which is programmed to squeel and threaten world wide destruction of all opposition by guided lawsuits.
Oh Yes! One of the world’s most sophisticated spy agencies at it top secret HeadQuarters in Cheltenham sent a delegate for what? To use the latest Hi Tech surveillance equipment no doubt bounced off the moon using some laser to make it more dramatic and for what exactly?
OK, let’s look at the source document. From this we learn the alarming news that – they use powerpoint:
- There was a powerpoint presentation for GCHQ managment
- The February 2011 PowerPoint presentation tell us:-
In this powerpoint we learn:
Role of Intelligence
This is indeed one of the most dasterly espionage rings that has ever been uncovered. They want to know:
- What do governments want
Yes!! It is really that bad. They have intelligence people, whose jobs is to find out what “government’s want”. But it gets far far worse. They are also intending to find out:
- What will they sign up to
- What are the negotiating positions on broad or specific issues
- What are their red lines
- Views about other countries
- Who is aligning with who
- Who is lobbying who
- Who are the spoilers
- Are delegates reporting back and getting fresh instructions
- What are they
First clue of the secret weapon code named Sombrero. I have decoded the highly encrypted numbers and unfortunately they have also used phoenician, but I think it reads:
“Here may be found the last words of Joseph of Arimathea. He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the Holy Grail in the Castle of aaarrrrggh”
I can see why the Guardian are so concerned. If these government employees actually go and do something like … using their intelligence to find things out. Then where will it end? Very soon all government employees might be expected to use their intelligence and do things!
It is such a dastardly plan. They even do something called “preparations”. Including in this are things like getting a “room” (not a secret bunker), a “pass” (don’t they abseil in), “kit” (does that include toiletries). There is however something new. Frequent mentions of a new code weapon called sombrero. This is no doubt a secret code name for a 4th dimensional multilingual, babblefish spybot which can squeeze between dimensions and bypass all known security.
But it only gets worse. The most daming thing is that they got a delegate list!!! ( No doubt the same one all the other delegates got.)
Notice the cunning use of camouflage by the only spy to ensure they blend into their environment and cannot be spotted except by those trained in the ancient art of Feng Shui.
OK, whilst it is easy to laugh at the Guardian, I do have a fair idea what they were doing, I think it involved a General Communication Officer and a lot of sun cream and site seeing in the area. They also carried out an extensive survey of local wildlife (no doubt so that Q could build a cyber-clone of the lizards so as to sneak in through some window and drug the Bolivian delegation and steal their secret plans.)
